Easter Sunday

My mother grew up only going to church twice a year- Christmas and Easter. Since my parents joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, my parents attend church every week, religiously, so to speak. They are so dedicated, that my Dad even gave up watching sports on Sunday and doing anything else that might disrupt the reverence of the Sabbath Day. Today I got up early myself and attended Church. I have never seen our chapel so full. I have also never seen half the people that filled it. 

At first, the idea of people only attending Church for the religious holiday kind of bothered me. My first thoughts were, why bother? You don't come any other time of the year, so why do you think coming on these two days out of all the other Sundays will save you in the end? As I scanned the congregation, I could almost easily pick out the individuals and families that weren't part of the regular crowd. Not just because I didn't recognize them, but because they weren't dressed in the normal church-attending attire. Some of them were in jeans, button-down shirts without ties, and white socks with their leather shoes. 

Then I realized something...I was judging them...and people like me are probably the reason why lots of them don't usually come to Church. I'm sure they could see my wandering eyes and could assume the thoughts of criticism going through my head. How dare I. Who am I to make that assessment? What I should have been thinking was how great it is they they decided to celebrate the Rescurrection of Christ by going to Church. I should have walked up to them and introduced myself to make them feel welcome. Instead, I sat in the corner with my husband and baby, keeping my thoughts and words of encouragement to myself. I have always been more shy than I am outgoing, but what good is that going to do in this world? 

We hear about so many people deciding not to come to Church and grow spiritually because they've been "offended"  or felt "unwelcome" there. For a long time, I've not thought much of it besides that is their issue and if they wanted to talk to me, I would always be friendly. But thinking today, I wonder how many people in my time have I created issues for? 

Online Dating

Many people (women older than 22 and men now older than 25) here in Happy Valley have already resorted to online dating. Where I am from (which is out of state), the people who begin to seek a mate in cyberspace are at least 30 years old, possibly divorced, may have never been on a date, live in their parents' basement, elderly looking for a dying companion or are complete social  rejects. 

So why then, do I know so many people under the age of 30, seemingly normal, looking for love on the internet? I've heard so many horror stories that don't just involve people showing up 50lbs heavier than their profile says. Here's a story from one individual I know: 

24 year-old female, tall, blonde, has a master's degree, seeking an equally tall, emotionally available man, 24 years or older. They meet up at a restaurant for ice cream (because Mormons don't drink coffee) around lunch time for the first encounter. Safe, yes...it's not a whole meal, so if it doesn't look like it's working you, you didn't waste more than an hour of your time. If it does work out, then next time dinner, right? The "date" goes well. He makes a joke, she laughs, they decide to get together again. They depart. The girl goes home, and deciding that the food at that restaurant looks pretty good, she invites her roommate to join her their for lunch. Where, as I'm sure you've guessed it, they find the male from the earlier date, enjoying more ice cream with a totally different girl. The roommates stay inconspicuous, and in thirty minutes, the young man is enjoying lunch with a 3rd female. As it turns out, he didn't want to spend more than one day wasting time with women that wouldn't be the perfect mate. Understandable, right? What self-respecting person wants to waste their time with someone that isn't any good for them? So is his home-made version of speed dating really that wrong? Or is it just desperate? 

Why do we, here in Utah Valley, have such a strong need to be married so young? Aren't we living for any other purposes? Yes, yes, we are taught since Sunbeams that the family is our core and that we should grow up and create our own; but why aren't any of us living for more than just that? Shouldn't we be bringing qualities like self-worth and independence to our marriages and relationships? We are taught that we are "children of God", so why aren't we taking that to heart? 

The definition of "knowing who you are" can be interpreted in so many different ways. I wonder, are many of us getting divorced these days because our own definition is "knowing who I am with him" or "with her" instead of "knowing who I am" all on my own? Without my roommates, without my parents, without my boyfriend? 

Here's the Sitch

I'm tired of holding back what I really think on my personal blog. So I've created this one-so I can say it like it really is. 

I live in Utah, land of the singles that are quite eager to mingle. What's wrong with this, you might ask? Well, the majority of women that are getting engaged in Utah Valley are under the age of 22. For some reason, beyond age 22, you are considered to be an old maid. Each year, there is a new batch of young, out-of-state girls who still have everything pointing up, attending one of the many schools in the area. So why should the men here settle for someone any older? 

Don't think you're off the hook, men. Every day of every week of every month, there is a newly returned missionary walking into your ward. He's fresh, he's innocent, and he hasn't kissed a girl in 2 years. Who wouldn't want to be the first to get a hold of that? Oh, wait, maybe because he still parts his hair on one side and combs it over the other? Hello! No one is telling you that you have to continue this hair-don't anymore. And just a word of advice, just because you've gotten married doesn't mean you need to keep it like that. The least you can do is bic it to about 1/4 of an inch, and then you don't have to worry about how to style it at all. Oh and when you go bald, your should probably start shaving it then, too. 

Something that might help out everyone is to stop being so desperate to get married. We've all grown up knowing that we live a live guided by the Man Upstairs, but then we try so hard to seal that marital bliss that we wind up scaring off all of our prospects on the first date. Lighten up a bit. It'll happen when it's supposed to happen.